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But He Married A Ballerina: The Real Husbands Of Pacific Northwest Ballet

March 18, 2016 by 4dancers

Pacific Northwest Ballet dancer Jessika Anspach McEliece with husband Ryan.
Pacific Northwest Ballet dancer Jessika Anspach McEliece with husband Ryan.

by Jessika Anspach McEliece

Sitting on the couch, wearing a flannel shirt and jeans, he picks up the guitar positioned next to him. Leans back. Begins to strum.

“Okay. Well… You can’t be ah… playing. I guess you can play the guitar the whole time if you want to…” I eek out as I place the iPhone down on the coffee table in front of us. Recording his music, and my passive aggression.

“Why not?” he replies.

“… like a bro…” I continue, disregarding his objection.

“Total bro.” He smiles sarcastically.

“For the record my husband is a total bro,” I facetiously and falsely declare.

“Off the record I am not, but you can tell people that…”


I may have married a “bro”, but he married a ballerina.

The life of a dancer seems to be one of mystery and intrigue. I mean how many movies and reality TV shows are out there that try to plumb the depths of this strange world? Because let’s be honest, it’s strange…

And yet how realistic is Center Stage or Flesh and Bone? What’s this life really like? Not the super-stereotyped, ballet-on-steroids version – the honest, every-day truth. Are we really these crazy creatures that Hollywood makes us out to be? Who better to ask than the husband of a dancer – and yes, many do manage to work marriage into the mix. I mean after all, husbands have both the front row and backstage perspective.

To get the real story I interviewed three husbands of Pacific Northwest Ballet dancers: Karel Cruz – a principal dancer married to fellow principal dancer Lindsi Dec; Michael Merchant, married to the newly-promoted soloist Leah Merchant; and of course my dear sweet (non-bro) husband Ryan McEliece.

But how does one meet “The One” when, to be frank, the schedule and demands of this profession seem to hinder the spouse-finding process? From my vantage point when I joined the company most of the dancers at PNB were either very single, or very married. How does one traverse the chasm that separates these two sides? To me the options seemed limited – date a dancer, or well… yeah. Tinder? Match? Miracle?

Karel Cruz

“How did you meet your wife?”

Another couch. Another coffee table. Different place. Different guy… So totally different…

He rustles through a brown paper shopping bag up in PNB’s company lounge, pulling out his lunch as I pull out my Moleskin notebook and pen. The definition of “tall, dark and handsome,” Karel energetically bites into his sandwich and you’d never guess he got maybe 4 hours of sleep the night before. He and his beautiful wife Lindsi just recently welcomed into this world a beautiful baby boy – Koan Dec Cruz.

PNB dancers Karel Cruz, Lindsi Dec and Koan Dec Cruz
                 PNB dancers Karel Cruz, Lindsi Dec and baby Koan Dec Cruz

“We met here at PNB when I joined the company in 2002. But we didn’t get together until 2003,” he replied in his heart-warming Cuban accent. “I think because of our heights we were put together a lot. And we both have a lot of ambition… We used to go to the back studios during breaks or after class to work on partnering. We’d rehearse ourselves in Don Quixote and one day Patricia [Barker] saw us and actually got us our first gig dancing together.”

And the rest is history. The on-stage romance blossomed into a real-life one. And by real-life I mean real life. [Read more…]

Filed Under: 4dancers Tagged With: ballerina, ballet dancer, center stage, dating a ballerina, Flesh and Bone, Jessika Anspach McEliece, Karel Cruz, Leah Merchant, Lindsi Dec, married to a dancer, marrying a ballerina, Michael Merchant, pacific northwest ballet, PNB

My Pretty Feet

January 30, 2015 by 4dancers

IMG_0858
Pointe shoe “gear” – photo by Jessika Anspach McEliece

He looks over at me with that twinkle in his eyes, and I see the mischievous 7-year-old boy gleam through my husband’s 32-year-old self.

“Come on babe… just do it. Just show them your feet… please?” and turning toward his friends – okay more like acquaintances… practical strangers to me – he proudly says, “You guys have gotta see these things…”

I shoot a half glance-half glare back at him and he knows exactly my train of thought. But how can I be mad at him when he’s looking at me like that? When he’s so proud of them for me? How can I really be that embarrassed by my “worker tools,” as he puts it? After all, that is what they are, callouses and all… And it could be worse… He could ask me to put my leg over my head, or have them guess my weight.

I meekly slip off my loafers and hesitantly raise my gaze to meet their slightly horrified faces.

My feet.
My feet.

“Um…. Wow. Aghh… Yeah. So do they hurt? Because they look like they hurt.”


That’s the typical reaction I get whenever pedestrians (non-dancers, that is) see my very ugly ballerina feet – and they are very ugly. Our physical therapist, Boyd Bender, actually keeps a photo of them on his iPhone to show any of his clients who might feel self-conscious about their own toes…

And ever since Center Stage and that scene where Jody Sawyer takes off her pointe shoes to show a very bloody blister (you know the one…), it has been a point of fascination – pun slightly intended.

The funny thing, I find, is what we consider “pretty feet” in the dance world has nothing to do with how pristine they look in flip-flops… That’s relatively easy to accomplish: buff down those callouses and shellac a bit of red nail polish and voila! You’re good to go… ish.

There’s only so much you can do for those bunions…

The hard part is getting those feet to look pretty in pointe shoes… harder still to get the pointe shoe to cooperate with you. To conjure the effect of weightless, effortless floating; balancing or turning on a dime – these are hallmarks of ballet and yet not easy feats by any means. I can’t always blame every problem I have on the shoes, but sometimes they really do have a mind of their own!

Well after 19 years of wearing these mini instruments of torture I’ve learned a few tricks to making them work for me, instead of the other way around… [Read more…]

Filed Under: Breaking In Shoes, Pointe Shoes Tagged With: blisters, boyd bender, breaking in pointe shoes, bunions, callouses, center stage, corns, dance shoes, francia russell, freed of london, jessika anspach, jody sawyer, pacific northwest ballet, PNB, pointe shoes, toe shoes

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