This photo of me was taken over 20 years ago. I just came across it the other day, and it made me think of how much emotion I expressed through dance. I recently spoke with a fellow dancer who is still performing, and it underscored the fact that I do miss it–although I am comfortable with the fact that it was time for me to step back and move to another place in my life.
It’s interesting, because I find that I don’t really have an outlet for my emotions in the same way now that I no longer perform. I can channel stress at the health club by pounding on the elliptical machine or daydream for a moment when I listen to the music when I’m teaching, but it isn’t the same thing. I’m not giving of myself in the same way.
It’s an interesting adjustment, and one that I haven’t spent too much time thinking about until this very moment. Perhaps it is why I feel the urge to give back. That is one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place. To help others in the field navigate through some of the things that I have already experienced and to share any knowledge I have picked up along the way.
And to put all that emotion to some type of practical use.
I suppose that writing has somehow stepped in and taken the place of my body moving through space and time. It has become a new way for me to express myself. To share what is in my mind as well as my heart. My writing style doesn’t tend to be as confessional as this post has been, but every once in a while I want to share a bit of what goes on inside me so that you know why I am doing this. And so that you know I am sincere in my motives.
I suppose that the method of expression matters very little in terms of how you release your emotions. The important part is that you don’t keep them to yourself.
After all, there is always someone out there who could use a little bit of that connection.
Even if it is just through the words on a blog like this one.
I really enjoyed this post. I can definitely relate, after taking a little hiatus from performing. There’s a bit of a void, because there really is no other feeling like performing, and expressing yourself on stage. I also write as a creative outlet. But I think I consider dance classes that I take my performance for now. It’s great to express myself through dancing, even if it is in the dance studio, and not on stage at the moment. Thanks for such a personal and heartfelt post! 🙂
Amen! What is so powerful about dance (or art-making in general) I think is that it stays with you for life. Even though your focus shifts or wanes, you never lose what was given to you. It’s an incredible gift to give anyone of any age the gift of dance. Yay for the folks that write, sing, speak, teach, preach, share, and inspire dance!!
Nichelle
Thanks for the comments ladies! It’s nice to see that it resonated with you both. Appreciate you ringing in…
Thanks for these thoughts! They touch a familiar place in me — and resonate with my own reasons for blogging. I watched the film “Every Little Step” last night and was struck by an interview with Jacques d’Ambroise, who spoke of the enormity of giving up dance when he was injured in his 40’s… about how central dancing & performing were to his identity. As a dancer, it’s quite an undertaking to find substitute outlets for the emotion, passion, energy… that dance provides.
First, amazing picture. Second, I think we are all born with some special ‘talent or desire” stamped into our being. Circumstances may dictate whether this can practically become our lifes’ work but, this desire can’t be denied so we fit it into our lives as best we can. I remember as a young girl living vicariously through a friend who was taking ballet. We “played” class and she taught me how to “plie” and “spot”. I was IMMEDIATELY hooked! Although I couldn’t take classes till much later, ballet kept tugging at my heart. I’m sure it always will. So here is this “thing” that cannot be denied. I get tremendous joy, and emotional release, out of our weekly class (although you might not think so from the strained expression on my face). But believe me when I say “I hear you”.
Meg–I love that film. Interesting to me that your reasons for blogging are similar. Thanks for sharing that! I really felt like I put myself out there on this one, but I’m glad that I did…
Lisa–thanks for the nice compliment. I’m glad you connected w/ ballet and that you are taking class. And I”m thankful for your comment–hearing that the post resonated with people made me feel really good about putting it all out there…